OverExposed pt2

At a certain point, transparency becomes a double-edged sword—especially with steadily increasing visibility that creeps up, whether acknowledged or respected. But even with that, there are levels to it. I had no idea a single post could instantly change how I'm seen, making me more attractive to women around me.

It's Low-key overwhelming.

For one, I’m used to sliding under the radar, playing the long game—maybe getting a shot at a few decent picks throughout the year and catching one.

For two, I’ve given pieces of my heart to what, at the time, felt like the truest love I would ever know—only to end up the fool, every time.

Now, I find myself in an awkward position. As I work on being more approachable and having more engaging conversations, I keep running into a few obstacles:

1. The Type of Love Women Want vs. The Type of Love I Offer
   Many women want that obsessive, head-over-heels, “only me” type of attention. But the way I see it, my head is only over my heels when I’m standing upright—not when I’m falling. And from an upright position, I can see that, while this approach is often requested, it isn’t always valued. In fact, it can be a turnoff more often than not.

   I’m choosing to bring a brand of love defined by consistency, understanding, dependability, and a playful yet sensual energy. My limited experiences put me in a unique position—I can offer both the freshness and excitement of experiencing you for the first time, while also bringing the maturity that comes with understanding relationships. Even if it comes with a little awkwardness, it’s fun when you embrace it.

2. The Game vs. My Rules
   I’m not trying to play games with anyone, but people play games. Commitment is intentional, but intentions aren’t always easy to discern—especially in the beginning. Meanwhile, life keeps moving, and other people remain in orbit. Conversations pick up, drift off, then circle back around.

   I’d be ecstatic to give my attention exclusively, yet the current environment doesn’t cater to that. It’s easy to fall into analysis paralysis or give in to the temptation to just have fun and think less. If I do play, it’s by my own rules—to be as attractive and enjoyable as possible without being overly accessible, while going through the least to get to the one I can hold for life.

3. Desire vs. Discipline
   I can say I want to prioritize love, but my body might say something completely different. Breaking celibacy and then returning to it brings a whole lot of vigor to my urges. Add to that the fact that I can’t even remember the last time I watched porn, and I’ve all but abstained from masturbation—that’s a lot of buildup.

   At this point, it takes barely more than a touch of sunlight or a light breeze to get me going, especially when I’m feeling good. I could train my mind to think of it as “bad,” but I don’t love that approach. Instead, I’d rather embrace it, let my nuts hang, and acknowledge that this is simply the sign of a disciplined and healthy body.

   I also know full well the consequences of that shameless embrace: increased confidence and an increase in potentially uncomfortable or awkward moments. I’m a late bloomer, and a subdued sexuality isn’t fitting for a man. So, y’all gotta be a little understanding with my learning curve—though I’d like to think I’ve graduated from high school to at least a college-level understanding by now.

   I don’t want to play games.

   I also don’t want any woman to feel like less than because I desire more of her physically. Still, that pressure has to be relieved, and it takes two. So… how are we navigating this?

I guess that’s where I’m stuck for now.

I know more confident choices are expected of me, yet I’m also rediscovering what love and attraction mean to me.

I know I may not be able to give what’s needed to full satisfaction off the rip—especially if energy is being withheld while waiting for confirmation.

I know I’m very capable of “doing the things.”

I know past insecurity pushed me to exceed the bar in some areas.

I don’t know who would be genuinely happy with that from me as I am.

I know I’m shedding layers of immaturity and realizing opportunity is abundant.

I know I have my picks, but they have free will. And every day, I’m teased by the scent of beautiful spirits.

I know I don’t want to appear unprofessional, but I also can’t keep putting my heart on the back burner.

I know I need to take more risks.

I also know that when it comes to the life and legacy I want to build, making the wrong decisions regarding women is the surest way to lose everything I’ve worked for.

I know I don’t want to appear aimless. But beyond having direction, my aim isn’t certain—and the only way to refine it is to step.

So, what matters less to me now are all the things that could go wrong.

What matters more is: Who’s ready to step?

Because I’m ready. Now.

By the way, I don’t expect to be out here talking like some sort of guru—that’s not my lane. But ever since overexposing myself, this felt like something that needed to be put into the ether as well.

And as U stray down the path, also I have to acknowledge—there are women out there who could take me out of the game before it even starts… or put me on ice long enough for you to consider.