Epic story time: Ninja training 101

I took a long stalk of bamboo and explained that we would break it to the desired blade length. I turned my back for just a moment to demonstrate my technique as I stomped down on the center and created a smooth break.

I turned back to say, "Your turn," yet somehow she had already prepared two blades of nearly identical length without making a sound. I paused for a moment because I literally could not process when she had the time to do it or how I heard nothing.

I laughed it off and gave a lesson on determining range. We practiced a spinning strike on a nearby pole. The idea was that the spin would make it more difficult for her to rely on her eyes, forcing her to learn her range by feel.

A little adjustment was needed here. She was leaning and extending her arms with bad form to maximize her reach. We refined it, found her ideal range, practiced horizontal and vertical strikes, and then entered the next phase of training.

For this stage we started with a point system: 1 point for hitting an arm or leg, 3 points for the body, and 5 for the head.

"Of course I'm counting on not getting hit there," I explained. She could attack any way she saw fit. I could only defend.

She wasted no time.

Swing. Block.

Swing. Block.

Swing. Swing. Swing.

Block. Block. Block.

Swing.

Hit.

Credit to her stamina, I didn't expect such a flurry right off the rip. We reset...Again.

This time I managed to block eight attacks before she landed the ninth. 2 points. She was gaining confidence in her strikes and caught her first body blow on the next exchange.

5 points.

At this point I decided it was time to step things up one more level, though not before slipping on wet grass, straining my thigh a bit, and giving up my first head shot.

That one hurt.She wasn't gonna know that though.

Next exchange I started working in dodges and parries. She was quick to call foul when I easily brushed aside her swings and took her off balance. I explained what a parry was and that it still counted as defense because I was only touching the blade.

Now it was me who was starting to get loose.

I was reading movements instantly and dodging others without even lifting my arm.

The thing about the parry is that it requires accurately reading the attack. First I saw frustration. Then I saw adaptation.

More variety in her strikes.It took a while, but she earned three more points.

On the next exchange she threw a heavy blow. I blocked it, but the top third of my weapon snapped off and flew into the grass.

Impressive.

Only took a few more swings for her to break off another third, leaving me with something barely longer than a dagger.

I could have reset, but honestly this was getting interesting. I decided I'd get her back the same way and started applying more force directly into my parries. No luck.

Now I'm thinking.

Defending with such a short weapon was getting difficult. More hits were sneaking through. At the same time my instincts started outpacing my conscious thought and I found myself surprising even me. Still, I couldn't find a way to safely apply enough force to break her blade. Medium power wasn't enough.

Finally I caught a swing where I had room to be a little heavy-handed without risking contact.

Unfortunately I was a little too precise.

Instead of breaking the blade, I pierced through the center. Only a few fibers held the top section together. I followed up with a cinematic-style disarm attempt, but instead transformed the top section into a flexible whip attached to the handle.

I genuinely did not know what to expect.

The first swing almost startled me.

I blocked the strike easily enough, but the trailing section came so close to my face that if I hadn't weaved at the last second it would have caught me right in the eye.

In my mind: Holy 😳

Her reaction? Pure excitement.

I don't think there was any consideration for restraint. No recognition of limits. Just curiosity and enthusiasm. Somehow I managed not to take a single hit from this ridiculous super weapon even after I lost count of the swings.

I felt like I had entered ultra instinct.

At this point though it was too dangerous for me to remain entirely defensive. I also noticed my blocking style occasionally exposed my knuckles to glancing blows. In a real blade scenario that would be a problem. For now I just made a mental note to adjust my blocking angle against downward strikes.

I called the round at 18 points and we started another. This time I was determined to win. She switched to her backup blade. I was made to keep the mini.

I grabbed a garden shovel in my left hand, though I refused to swing metal. It became a shield and allowed a new X-block that worked perfectly against vertical attacks.

After practicing the motion a few times I dropped it so I could focus on agility and finding openings.

Now I couldn't generate much force and her reach was longer, so my only path to points was a quick parry followed by closing the distance for a light touch.

The parry part wasn't hard.

What I underestimated was how quickly she could recover. I found myself behind early. At that point I allowed myself to get a little serious.

The exchange became a beautiful dance.

Both of us blocking.

Both of us adapting.

My movement ended up being the difference.

She gathered broken bamboo shards to use as throwing knives, but the pace of the fight never gave her an opportunity to deploy them.

I think the previous round helped me understand the puzzle.

The key was creating an opening, evading the counter, then scoring before she could reset. Once the strategy clicked, it became a matter of focus.

I caught up, Then pulled away. But the day still had one more special moment waiting. Up until this point she had only used horizontal and vertical strikes. Then, out of nowhere, with perfect timing, she launched a diagonal slash directly toward my neck...then laughed.

"How many points is that?" We agreed that one was worth 10. I decided that was the perfect place to end the round. Partly because we'd been going for a while. partly because that one actually hurt.

And partly because if I hadn't built such a lead beforehand, that strike would've been devastating.

I wanted the record to show what a masterful exchange it had been. Of course she wanted to go again. Meanwhile I'm thinking:

How are you not tired?

Between the matches there had easily been dozens of points scored and I was definitely feeling it. Maintaining movement on slippery terrain was draining my legs and I could tell fatigue was beginning to affect my performance.

I also noticed most of the successful hits were landing in roughly the same area.

I had developed a bad habit. Whenever an attack came that I couldn't dodge, I leaned into my left shoulder. What surprised me most though was how invested she became in the training. I didn't expect that level of enthusiasm.

It felt like a great release of energy and frustration, and I decided I'd push beyond my limit to keep it going.

That turned out not to be the wisest decision.

Not only was I noticeably slower, but somehow she seemed to be getting faster.

I looked at the score.

She was ahead.

Could I have dug deeper and tried to close the gap? Probably. Instead I chose to concede the round and fight another day. That left us effectively tied in the rounds where both sides were allowed to score.

I wanted a rematch immediately.

Turns out I had taken some real damage though.

I didn't fully feel it until the next day.

Probably didn't help that I followed the session with my usual fitness routine and some mobility work. Looking back, that was unnecessary strain after a day like that.

Recovery became the next battle.

The arm felt similar to an old sports injury that had once limited my range of motion for years. This time, however, I had a much better understanding of mobility and recovery work.

So I put myself through my own version of therapy.

Stretching, shoulder shrugs, mobility drills and yoga repeated throughout the day. The most painful movement was simply flexing the muscle, so I used that as my benchmark.

By breaking the motion into smaller pieces and gradually increasing the range, I noticed I could loosen it. Once loose, the pain would fade for a while before tightening up again.

At one point even a small set of pushups felt difficult. A humbling comparison to where I had been just days earlier. As time passed, though, more movement returned.

Less pain. Less stiffness. Less effort required to loosen things up. I can't say I'm fully healed yet, but I know progress is happening. My strength has largely returned.

My range of motion and speed are back.

Endurance on that side still has some catching up to do, and there's still a little pain, but strong movements feel surprisingly good compared to slow isolated ones.

I even proved it to myself while working in the garden. I managed to lift a fully loaded wheelbarrow that would've challenged me not too long ago, and I did it without spilling the dirt.

Talk about a silver lining.

We'll definitely be running this back.

Hopefully with more people involved too. I am an advocate of self defense when paired with mental health supports. Mediation, community conversations, block captain programs and other violence reduction methods

Also I love martial arts, different styles.

Different approaches.

Different rhythms.

I've loved martial arts movies for as long as I can remember. For years I dreamed of being a stunt performer before learning just how dangerous that profession can be. At one point I even found a place offering fight choreography classes and seriously considered it.

I've also had an idea in my head for years: an urban kung fu series. Something with the energy of a buddy-action martial arts film mixed with the atmosphere of a gritty city drama.

Maybe one day I'll find the right people to build it with. Until then, I'll settle for unforgettable matches like this one.